My spiritual process in life has had lots of highs and lows. I dive in and dig deep. Feeling all the energy fill me, transform me, break me up and tear me out then put me back together again. I spin, weave, and create. Then, I fall- I loose my grip on my process. A major life trauma or change occurs and I'm off to focus, ground, and deal with the issue all the while getting myself lost along the way. All the healing and transformation isn't lost- I just get lost. At age 29 I refused to let anything get in my way. By the end of my 30th year I was faced with another huge life change. The pregnancy of my twin girls.
The year prior to this news I had attended spiritual retreats. Enjoyed a spiritual journey of traveling alone for 10 days. I met my husband. I quit a job that had for a very long time no longer served me. I sold my home. I was off to have another adventure in life when I was struck with the reality of new life coming through me. As I meditated what this would mean I had to take a deep long look at myself, my process of spiritual growth and the understanding that I would now share my life with two little souls for a very long time. This shift was far from easy for me. I sought counsel from other spiritual like minded people who all thought this blessing was a wonderful new chapter. Finally after a month of crying, begging for understanding Kuan Yin came to me and gave me wisdom. These souls choose me and hubby because of the life I could offer. The Masters choose me because I would understand and honor what was required of raising such enlighten souls. She kissed me, bathed me in her love and stayed with me and my babies the remainder of my pregnancy. After that experience all of life's gifts were centered on only the babies. I could not focus on any spiritual reading except that which was written for women and most importantly newly expecting mothers (two whole books). My inner guidance was on high alert and if my ego tried to get in the way it was quick to remind me of my path. I was to dedicate my life from the point of knowing of my girls to their first birthday. The year and 9 months were a huge shift from what I had done previous but I learned to settle in. When ever I was restless someone or something gave me a God-shot reminding me where I was supposed to be. The solar eclipse a few days after their birthday lifted a veil that had been covering my eyes. The change was almost instant. My babies changed too. They learned to walk within a week of this shift.
From this moment on I have been slowing building up my spiritual muscles again. Starting off slow with some reading, joining a conference call that turned out to be all women and turned into a Goddess Circle. From there I was off. I could not gain enough information. I could not do enough change, shift, transformation, tearing, breaking. I was right back on my path of spinning and quickly becoming a mom who was burning her wick at both ends. I was different however. I was now a women who could listen, be still and quiet and just listen. I documented on this blog my shift over a three month period of honoring the Spring Festivals and through this process I had heighten my awareness, my gifts. I was ready to to deal with this process much differently this time. I quieted myself, and just sat. My heart breaking and my tears flowing I forced myself to just listen. That is when the calm came. The calm that said "Live in this moment now". It went on to show me that I can not possibly learn all that I need to learn or do all the service I am intended to do in this life time today, tomorrow or even a year from now. Just live in the now. Be here right now.
So, here I am, NOW. In this moment I am more centered and focused because of NOW. I have accomplished more in the last few days living in NOW than I have in the week prior. I process all the emotion, all the learning, all that is with more life and love because it is NOW.
Thank you God. Thank you Masters. Thank you Angels for this gift.
'I speak to you, Be still, Know I am God.'
http://essene.com/GospelOfPeace/VisionOfEnoch.htm
Namaste,
Leah
No comments:
Post a Comment