Grieving

Grieving is a part of life. One that is not often experienced to its full potential due to the fact that we as humans tend to work as fast as we can to move away from any discomfort. I don't advocate dwelling in sorrow and depression. I do however believe that when loss occurs honoring the feelings of pain, sorrow, heartache, anger, helplessness, confusion and loss help make the process of grieving turn into a transformation of self. Being witness to what is lost and how he/she/it affected us while they were with us shows growth through reflection. It allows us to breathe in the moments and see how they changed us or how we would like to change with their passing.

Death in my opinion would be the deepest level of grieving as its finality is so obvious and reminds us of our own mortality. I have come to view death as a new birth for a soul- a belief that is taught in many Eastern Religions. This brings a lightness to the passing of an individual that helps center the grieving back around to me- the person experiencing the loss. Death is the last moment a person can make an imprint on our lives. How we choose to move forward with this moment is their final gift.
I have visited the depths of grieving once and after 11 months of being a walking zombie I decided to climb myself out of the valley of sorrow and reach for the highest peak of life I could see and started walking. I turned the grieving experience on its tail and worked it to my advantage. I had lived in the pain long enough. It was time to honor, to accept and let go. To gather my courage and make the changes that I had wanted to make in my life for a long time. To use the anger and pain as my backbone when I just didn't feel I had the energy to keep going. Knowing you can overcome something that seems insurmountable shows you just how strong you really are and just how capable you are to do anything you set your heart and mind to.
When the loss of a loved one ends with things left unsaid and issues unresolved a lot more healing needs to take place. I do believe this healing is possible and may be more life changing as the courage to face the inner demons and forgive now runs deeply between the individual and God. The person who is now gone no longer holds resentments or anger. These are released and worked through at the passing. Utilizing this knowledge helps to know that once you are ready to forgive and forget the pain really can run out with the tears never to return again.

Grieving the loss of a marriage, job, home, or friendship can be just as painful because the loss is viewed as something that you had control of on some level. The process of release is still the same. Honor the feelings, live in the pain and once it fills all the crevices of your very being let go. Imagine them falling to the earth in your tears. Exiting with your screams. Silently drifting off with your breath. However they need to leave when it is time letting them go allows for the transformation- the real healing of the soul. Once free you can fill these spaces with new memories, new energies, new loves, and most importantly a new you. Allowing yourself to live through the pain also allows for reflection of what may have went wrong. It allows for the lesson to present itself so it doesn't have to be relived again. It allows for new seeds to be planted and old patterns to be released.

Remember that grieving over life changes is a healthy and sometimes necessary process in growth as well. While transforming into the Divine Souls that we are becoming we are letting go of an old way of life that was comfortable and familiar. It wasn't wrong, it just isn't right for the new paradigm we are creating. Honor what was and grieve if needed. This process doesn't have to be painful. It does need to be acknowledge as it deserves a final farewell. Once released it is gone only to be brought back in distant memories or situations if needed to solidify the severed ties. Our universe is doing wonders to help us with this release and utilizing these energies to assist with this process makes the grieving process at times more manageable and at the very least more productive.

We are Divine Souls having a Human experience. We are here to live this life because we choose to do so. It is our honor to know all the aspects of this human endeavor and that includes the more painful times also. View Grief as a gift and honor it as a chance for transformation. Face it with an open heart, utilize prayer, and know you are surrounded by the Divine Love of God.

It is my honor to Serve and to be present for all the changes that take place in our world today. Thank You to each of you for choosing to be here now.

In Love & Light,
Leah


To learn more about the ever changing planetary cycles that are affecting our lives and planet I recommend these two sites:

• Allison Rae is a talented Astrologer, her ability to utilize her gift of clairvoyance and bring forth the energies and messages of now is truly transforming. http://www.starpriestess.com/index.html
• Kelly M Beard brings astrology into the world and shares her gift of words to help us understand the changes of now. Her work is in-depth and easy to understand and utilize. http://www.karmictools.com/

Meditation

I have been working on different meditation forms that visually come to me as I maintain presence in my daughters nursery while they fall asleep. Since I am actually performing my service of presence for them I have a hard time going into deep meditation. I decided that I would use this time to perform Reiki on myself, stretch quietly if the movement doesn't distract them from falling asleep, and doing more 'active' meditation. I call it active because instead of going within and finding my quiet place I visualize. Today my visualization was a guided meditation that was a beautifully Divine gift. I allowed the meditation to flow, the beauty of it was life changing. I will utilize this meditation regularly as it was extremely effective.



The meditation is centered around the 5 elements and clearing the energies of the body. It also assists with clearly seeing the chakras without the the interference of the body. Allow this to flow at its own speed and visualize each step feeling the sensations of each element as well as releasing any energies or feelings that come up. Just flow...



Sitting in the crossed leg or lotus position breath in deep cleansing/centering breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth or nose. After feeling your center on your next exhale imagine your physical body slowly disappearing and draining out through your base chakra into the earth. Once the essence of the body is gone become aware of the aura that highlights the emptiness of your physical shape.
Become aware of your chakra column. Make note of any other energy points that may also be seen in the emptiness. At this time breath in to each chakra and balance if required, cleanse if needed, and speak to any new energy points to learn of their purpose, then just breathe.
When your are ready imagine a bright white light come into your emptiness from your crown chakra and fill the shape that was your form. Allow it to pulse and radiate out of your aura. Then on an in breath request the light to soak into your very being. Touching every molecule of your body, mind, and spirit. As it is being absorbed notice the light slowly reveal the physical body again. Once you feel the physical body again allow it to drain as you did before. Notice if it is faster, slower, or similar in speed.
Once the drain is complete on the next in-breath allow the element of fire to enter from your base chakra and feet chakras. Visualize the flames, witness the movement. What do your feel, what do you smell. Give thanks as it burns away all unwanted vibrations, energies, feelings, and unwanted thoughts. Once it has hit the crown chakra witness your physical form in flame. Notice the beauty and be aware of the sensations and feelings that may be coming up.
When you are ready visualize water in the form of a waterfall or rain entering in from your crown chakra and slowly putting out the fire and at the same time draining you and clearing you of what needs to be removed and let go. Using your base and feet chakras as drains into Mother Earth. Again, notice the sensations of what the water feels like, how it smells and what if any energies remain after the fire is extinguished and replaced. Feel the essence of water within you. Notice how calming and refreshing it feels. How akin you may feel to it as our body is made primarily out of this substance.
When you are ready notice at the base and feet chakras again the water forming into ice. Slowly moving up the legs, torso, hand, arms, neck, and then finally head. How does this feel, smell, taste, or sound. Is it heavy or constricting. What feelings come up with these sensations. Notice the colors and textures.
When you are ready imagine a warm red sand flowing in from the top of your crown chakra breaking down the ice and melting away unwanted feelings and releasing old patterns. As you feel the sand fill and swirl inside you notice how freeing you feel or what you may still be holding on to as the ice recedes and the sand connects with your base and feet chakras and finally into Mother Earth. Feel the connection to our host Mother. What areas of your body feel tight or still feel constricted.
When you are ready breathe in and request that the gift of wind blow away any remaining energies, vibrations, thoughts, patterns, or pain into the air to be sent back to the Divine Mother/Father God to be healed and transmutated. If it helps imagine a clear bubble of light that will gather the sand and energies that are being released. Once the wind has cleared you of all remaining sand allow the bubble to pop releasing and cleansing.
Notice that all that is now left is your empty shape again. Allow yourself to be filled with the white healing light again and slowly allow the physical form to enter from the crown chaka and complete itself at the base and feet chakras.
Breathe deeply. Give thanks and remember to follow any intuitive information you received and as always drink lots of water to help with toxin release.

Thank you Divine Buddha for your Love and Guidance with this meditation.

Namaste,
Leah

A Poem of Truth and Love

Because I love you

I give my life to service
Because I love you

I dedicate my world to your breath
Your joy
Your happiness
Your centering and growth
Because I love you

I work daily to release all selfishness
Replacing myself with a soul-centered life
Filled with Divine knowledge and healing
Because I love you

I wake with the moon, the sun, or between
Touching the depths of my darkness to release the light
Breathing in the essence of God
Working endlessly to create a better earth space
Because I love you

I will share my joy, my souls light
I will teach you the ways of the Masters, the Angels
I will guide you to your own souls awakening- when you are ready
Today I will hold you in my arms and show you pure love
Because God showed me first and I felt her love

Today and always I will serve
Because I am loved

This is dedicated to my to little girls, the little girl that lives inside me, and to all of the souls of this world and beyond.

Love & Light,
Leah

Growing in Healing

Reiki was a passion of mine before the gift of my daughters. I had been guided/drawn to it while I was still living a life of illness and addiction. Once I made my life change I knew it was time to follow the guidance and try the healing on myself. I was in the middle of a lot of life turmoil and needed healing on so many levels. The moment I put out my need for the right practitioner one was shown into my life. After that first healing I was hooked. There really is no way to describe how wonderful this healing love is to a restless pain-filled soul. It was transforming and it had only just started. I received two more session before my first spiritual gathering- then one more prior to taking my Reiki I & II attunements so I could become a healer as well. I thought the healing sessions themselves were transforming but I had no idea how powerful and self-fulfilling the attunements would be for me. They opened up my soul to a new awareness of God Love. They activated a code locked inside my center to be awakened for the remainder of this human lifetime. I was now a healer. This was something I had wanted for so long and I was now able to do this on myself and others. I continued to receive healing sessions which only magnified my internal healings. I was able to rid myself of a very painful condition which has not come back since that time. I was also able to start healing wounds so old and deep they blistered inside as they were released and cleansed. Most of all, I was awakening the Divine self within.



I was given the gift of receiving my final Master attunement from a Diving Loving soul next to a running stream in the middle of the New Mexico desert on grounds that I personally consider sacred. As the full moon lunar eclipse prepared for its debut I received the gift of contact with the Ascended Masters and Angels smiling down on me as I sat receiving the God Love that is Reiki. This experience was so beautifully Spiritual and Life changing. I will cherish this moment as it was the shift of release from an old life into a new one.



I utilized Reiki while pregnant and on occasions after the babies were born but I truly let the daily process of opening and receiving the gift be put aside for feedings and much needed sleep. I always felt it swirling inside and knew that the time would come when my passion would have time to move into my life again. While in meditation I was drawn to an energy inside myself that sparked a flood of ideas and information for the future. I was to use Reiki in my daily life again not just for myself but to start healing others, and also to teach. I have decided to return yet again to class to learn the practice of attunement and to share it with those that need it. We are all born healers in our own way. I will assist in passing this God Love to those that need it, request it, or find it to be their path also. I have now returned to my daily healing of self and I am growing more aware of how strong this healing love is in these new days. Much more potent than just two years ago. I also notice that is helps clear the aura and lower vibrational energies more effectively. I am honored that I have this experience of see how the shift of our world is changing all things-living or otherwise. In my growing and healing I am more of myself than I have ever been. What a wonderful gift to give myself and a wonderful way to honor the Divine Mother/Father God.



Be the change you want to see in the world. -Mahatma Gandhi



Namaste,

Leah

I AM that I AM

I first heard 'I am that I am' said at a spiritual retreat I was on a few years ago. It was the first spiritual gathering I had ever attended and I was in my element but also very overwhelmed. I realized how closed up I had kept myself for so many years. The meaning of this statement went right over my head. I researched it later and realized its magnitude. I didn't however get 'it'. I didn't understand that I was God as much as God was me.

This last week and a half has been huge for me- another major transformation. Maybe it is better put that I have fought my way out of my cocoon. As I have sat on the tree of life letting the sun dry my wings I have become profoundly aware of my God-Self. Staying centered in my own body and soul the Grace of God fills me- completes me- with ever breath. I have found a center that is unlike any center of peace I have experienced. I can now see it clearly when I move away from it. I drench myself in Love the moment I wake and bathe in it at any moment by simply breathing in and becoming conscious of the Grace that fills my life- my being. This process is new and so I have to be aware of it at times moment by moment. I do not ever want to leave it- ever again. To be in the Grace of God is not a gift that was given to me. It has been my birth right from the moment I entered this body. I was only required to accept this truth and take it into my being. Pause for a moment and realize what I have just said because this truth is also your truth. If I could give one ounce of this Grace to each of you for just one moment you would want to bathe yourself in it daily also. This shift of thinking however is a path that is walked alone. Self-Love has been the key to my awakening. My breaking free to become the beautiful multi-colored butterfly that I am. This last month of building up my Self-Love has been a struggle, a hardship, a magnificent process of healing. I could not have asked for a more profound outcome.

I view myself now with a renewed sense of how truly powerful the Love of God is and how truly powerful I am by just changing my thoughts and focusing my intent. I have moved mountains of pain and heartache. I have removed toxins, cleared myself of lower vibrating energies, and continue to remove all fear based cords, memories, and programing. This process was done through my soul and with the assistance of mantra, affirmations, and prayer. I also received assistance from higher vibrational beings that I requested help from who lovingly received my prayers and assisted where they were needed. I trusted the process. I moved with the flow and always believed the outcome would far out weight the short term pain or discomfort. I owed myself this because I am a child of God. To honor my wonderful being I have to provide a solid foundation from which to grow from. My path of service is one of a lifetime. I now know that while I walk this path alone physically I will never have to be alone spiritually.

I look around on this tree of life that I am perched on. The sun is shining down warming my wings. The air is warm and full of wonderful smells and full of life. A life energy so tangible I can feel it embrace me in my new form. Sultry and smooth it caresses my skin urging me to take flight. I see myself and notice the crystal like color of my soul radiating off my body. I am ready.

I am that I am.

Love & Light,
Leah

The Gift of NOW

My spiritual process in life has had lots of highs and lows. I dive in and dig deep. Feeling all the energy fill me, transform me, break me up and tear me out then put me back together again. I spin, weave, and create. Then, I fall- I loose my grip on my process. A major life trauma or change occurs and I'm off to focus, ground, and deal with the issue all the while getting myself lost along the way. All the healing and transformation isn't lost- I just get lost. At age 29 I refused to let anything get in my way. By the end of my 30th year I was faced with another huge life change. The pregnancy of my twin girls.

The year prior to this news I had attended spiritual retreats. Enjoyed a spiritual journey of traveling alone for 10 days. I met my husband. I quit a job that had for a very long time no longer served me. I sold my home. I was off to have another adventure in life when I was struck with the reality of new life coming through me. As I meditated what this would mean I had to take a deep long look at myself, my process of spiritual growth and the understanding that I would now share my life with two little souls for a very long time. This shift was far from easy for me. I sought counsel from other spiritual like minded people who all thought this blessing was a wonderful new chapter. Finally after a month of crying, begging for understanding Kuan Yin came to me and gave me wisdom. These souls choose me and hubby because of the life I could offer. The Masters choose me because I would understand and honor what was required of raising such enlighten souls. She kissed me, bathed me in her love and stayed with me and my babies the remainder of my pregnancy. After that experience all of life's gifts were centered on only the babies. I could not focus on any spiritual reading except that which was written for women and most importantly newly expecting mothers (two whole books). My inner guidance was on high alert and if my ego tried to get in the way it was quick to remind me of my path. I was to dedicate my life from the point of knowing of my girls to their first birthday. The year and 9 months were a huge shift from what I had done previous but I learned to settle in. When ever I was restless someone or something gave me a God-shot reminding me where I was supposed to be. The solar eclipse a few days after their birthday lifted a veil that had been covering my eyes. The change was almost instant. My babies changed too. They learned to walk within a week of this shift.

From this moment on I have been slowing building up my spiritual muscles again. Starting off slow with some reading, joining a conference call that turned out to be all women and turned into a Goddess Circle. From there I was off. I could not gain enough information. I could not do enough change, shift, transformation, tearing, breaking. I was right back on my path of spinning and quickly becoming a mom who was burning her wick at both ends. I was different however. I was now a women who could listen, be still and quiet and just listen. I documented on this blog my shift over a three month period of honoring the Spring Festivals and through this process I had heighten my awareness, my gifts. I was ready to to deal with this process much differently this time. I quieted myself, and just sat. My heart breaking and my tears flowing I forced myself to just listen. That is when the calm came. The calm that said "Live in this moment now". It went on to show me that I can not possibly learn all that I need to learn or do all the service I am intended to do in this life time today, tomorrow or even a year from now. Just live in the now. Be here right now.

So, here I am, NOW. In this moment I am more centered and focused because of NOW. I have accomplished more in the last few days living in NOW than I have in the week prior. I process all the emotion, all the learning, all that is with more life and love because it is NOW.

Thank you God. Thank you Masters. Thank you Angels for this gift.

'I speak to you, Be still, Know I am God.'
http://essene.com/GospelOfPeace/VisionOfEnoch.htm

Namaste,
Leah

Festival of Goodwill

The full moon was this Sunday. The last full moon of the three spring festivals to celebrate. The Festival of Goodwill is a celebration of love, light, wisdom and a grounding of the energies from the two previous festivals. It is a festival for Humanity. The energy of this festival is magnetic and was very easy to sense and tap into with very little effort. The full moon in Gemini was huge for me this year. I have been working so hard on creating positive change in my life on all levels along with grounding the vibrations of the festivals. My body and soul had reached a climatic level of energy, of power, of love, of overwhelming joy and sorrow. I felt as if I was swimming in a sea of emotions and I was caught in the current. The build up of these emotions and energy had need for escape. I found refuge in- drinking large amounts of water, walking and spending time in nature, I ate fresh fruit and veggies, cried, laughed huge belly laughs, sat quietly praying, and at one point my body broke out in small hives which I could only drink water and attempt to clear the energy. I have experienced sensations like this before but this time I was spinning. I was also finding it hard to remain centered while living in family time. My girls were also feeling the affects of this moon which made centering even more crucial. On Saturday night I was finally able to go to my sacred space and just sit with all the vibrations, other worldly beings and souls and give thanks. I opened my heart chakra first then the other chakras and prayed for guidance, for a clearing and release. My chakra column became a tree trunk, the energy spinning from my body down into the earth spreading like roots filled with iridescent light. The love, the power, the grace of the Christ and Buddha essence all flowed from me into the earth and sprouted out from my aura field vibrating the room as it rippled out into the universe. I was my own star. I was my own lighting strike. I was the seed, the roots, and the tree all at once. For that moment my soul was illuminated at I reached the heavens on the wings of Angels. Then there was peace.

I was centered. Quiet. The movement, the spinning, it all just ceased. I was at peace. I had a deep knowing from within that I had helped create one more thread in the weave of this new paradigm. Joining in prayer for humanity. Prayer for the Divine Plan to continue to manifest on this beautiful Earth.

I heard my voice speak the prayers of a thousand years as I asked for guidance, renewal, protection, release of negative lower vibrations and most importantly the removal of fear. I offered myself again to the service of humanity. I opened my heart to the Divine love of God and was healed.

I am where I need to be right now at this very moment. I know I am the Spiritual Warrior. I know I am the student and the teacher. I know from within that all I need is already within me. I know that this too shall pass into time on the whispers of the wind.

God Bless
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om

Leah